Spartan the Derp

You remember very little of your old life. You were born on the coldest day of the storm of the century and raised lovingly by your grandfather. As a child, you took pride in making pizza, but it soon became obvious that you were meant for bigger things. That's where your feared fists of fury came in. It was essential in creating a real excuse to dress impractically. Your time for greatness is here. We're going to the moon!